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Archive Written by  50 CAL Monday, 07 March 2011 01:45 font size decrease font size increase font size 0
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Some people argue that self-improvement is like masturbation, but if that is the case, Jamaican people are “jerking off” like crazy, playing mad chemical scientists experimenting with their own skins. And what is the end result? Modern day Frankensteins in such an exciting array of pinks, reds, purples, and ugly browns that spectacle will make your head spin. Ambi, Nadinola, Betnovate, Dermovate and even toothpaste are just some of the costly “bleaching” products that our Jamaican women and men employ to remove and lighten the pigment of their skins. Many have even used the blue soap which they believe it is an effective “bleaching” product as some might say that it gives them one tone instead of the many varieties of blacks, pinks and reds which we see on a daily basis. But the blue soap people are just cowards, if you are going to fuck up your skin, why be conservative about it. Naturally, this would not escape the commentators of the dancehall and over the past two decades, we have been given a cache of songs about the bleaching practice. Here are what we think are the best ones as ONE876 presents the TOP TEN BLEACHING SONGS.



6. Mi Nah Rub – Queen Ifrica
Queen Ifrica generated a lot of positive feedback with her artfully
delivered lyrics on this smash number one Down Sound Records produced
single. She sings: "di person weh seh black nah wear again insecure
wid demself, so nuh follow dem. Mi nah bleach mi nuh care if dat a di
trend. Proud to be black."

Image7A Cyaan Get Brown - Kiprich

Kiprich's taunting, schoolyard chart that trumpets the idea that "no matter how much you bleach, you will
never be brown" is a favourite among school kids. He sings:

But brown, you can't get brown,
you coulda buy every cake soap dung a town
Brown you nah get brown all when a in a fab soap you a drown,
Yea she say.
But brown, you can't get brown,
you coulda buy every cake soap dung a town
Brown you nah get brown all when a in a fab soap you a drown,
Yea she say

Even with all the humour, there is a kernel of truth to what Kip Rich has to say, a truth
that speaks to self identity and the consequences of the choices you make, while begging the question, :how far will you go to fit in with others who you think are popular or cool? And how ridiculous is it to keep stoking that desire once you have passed your turbulent teens?

Verse 1:
She say a nuh everything you fi fallow
A nuh every pill out a road you fi swallow
Soap can't change you colour so you nuffi bada
Unless you face is a white shirt collar


7B Black Skin – Gyptian featuring Hard Drive and Blak Diamond

Though not a popular song, dancehall aficionados rank the single,
Gyptian’s Black Skin featuring Blak Diamond and Hard Drive as one of
the best anti-bleaching songs in the market. The chorus goes: I'm
shoutin it loud, way out I'm so proud of my black skin/It's my
culture, my heritage, my roots, it's my love
I love my black skin... So mi skin mi nah go bleach out.
There is also a line in the song where Gyptian sings a warning : NUh
badda try fi be the second Michael Jackson’, a snatch of lyrics with
great portent given the King of Pop’s premature death over a year ago.

8. Caan Believe Mi Eye – Bounty Killer

The Warlord dropped a foul-mouthed tirade on the growing effeminacy of
young Jamaican males with the dancehall classic, Caan Believe Mi Eye.
With an intro Mi nuh know how dem man yah fi talk bout dem a run di
place an how dem a badman
A bleach dem face an a cream dem hair inna tight pants
Bum out dem bumboclaat!
He continues with the classic lines: Mi caan believe say battyman a
run people place/Mi caan believe di shotta dem a bleach out dem
face/Mi caan believe say certain man a come pan wi base/Mi caan
believe mi eye, mi caan belive mi eye.

9. Straight Jeans and Fitted – Vybz Kartel featuring Russian. It is a
testament to the greatness of Vybz Kartel that a phrase that seemed
like a throwaway line could have sparked nationwide debate. The line?
“Cool like mi wash mi face wid the cake soap”.

Image10. Weh Di Bleaching Fah – Vybz Kartel

Voiced in 2005 on the Shampoo riddim, the pre-Gaza era Vybz Kartel
uses his incredible wit to make fun of girls who bleach but don’t
quite “reach” and get the desired results of a beautiful fairer skin
tone. With witty, derogatory word play, he sets out to describe women
who have that condition, “two-colour skin”, and bleach and look “how
yu so black and white and yu anno zebra”. And who can forget those
humourous lines: “Face brown, belly brown but black inna the navel/
face get white but the neck is unable/how yu fi fraida the sun? Yu ah
vampire like wah mi see pon cable?” Kartel shows intimate knowledge
of bleaching practices as he names out the various products such as
Movate, Nuprozone, Clear and White, Nadinola and Clearasil. Now, five
years later, he is the one who is experimenting with said products.
Life is a bitch, isn’t it?

Read 8034 times Last modified on Monday, 07 March 2011 01:52

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